Girls Masturbating While Watching Porn
. Some men attempting the rebooting process believe that as long as they avoid ejaculation, they are successfully rebooting. This twisted logic leads them to endorse an unhelpful practice common to Internet porn users, called edging. This is masturbating up to the edge of orgasm, then stopping to cool things down, then revving up again. Three common versions of edging:
girls masturbating while watching porn
Since a reboot is defined as no porn or porn substitutes 1 & 2 make no sense. For those trying to overcome problematic porn use, edging while viewing porn (or fantasizing about porn) is far worse than simply having an orgasm and getting it over with. Why is that? It all comes down to dopamine.
I find that the sexual gratification of masturbation aided by pornography far exceeds pleasures of copulation (or other practices) with a partner. And I have reason to believe that this conclusion is widespread among the sub-population of self-identified chronic masturbators. I am an active participant in several masturbation-focused Internet groups, and moderator of one. Masturbators frequently report a strong preference for masturbatory practices, even when continuing in an active relationship with sexual partners. Many go so far as to abandon partner sex even while the partner remains available and willing.
Porn can often be a hot-button issue in romantic relationships, in part because watching porn is a habit that most people do in secret without ever discussing it with their partners. Which raises the question: Is watching porn cheating?
"Yes, watching porn can negatively impact a relationship, but it's most often not because it's 'cheating.' It's because the couple hasn't talked about why they want to or don't want to watch porn and what meaning porn has to them," Richmond explains. "Porn itself isn't the risk to the relationship; not talking about it is."
In general, research has produced mixed results about the effects of watching porn. Many studies have found porn is associated with lower relationship satisfaction1, while others have found porn more commonly has no effect or even positive effects on couples' sex lives2. (If you really want to get into the weeds, here's our deep dive on how porn affects relationships.)
One of the most common concerns about porn use in relationships is that the person is watching porn because they're not satisfied with their sex life with their partner. But according to Francis, that worry is often grounded in their partner's insecurities about their own desirability.
It can be helpful to explain what you get from watching porn, whether it's just for a quick physical release, a way to explore fantasies, or whatever else it might be. It'll also be important to reassure your partner that your porn use doesn't have to do with how you feel about them so they don't worry. (Or if it does feel related to your feelings about the relationship, bring up those concerns so you can start working on them together!)
It's important to understand why your partner watches porn and what they get out of it, says Richmond. "Is it about anxiety reduction, boredom alleviation, mood improvement, sleep enhancement, novelty, curiosity, exploration, or one of dozens of other reasons? Again, it is almost never because the porn-watching person isn't happy with their partner or because they have a desire to cheat."
Both Francis and Richmond say that asking your partner to stop watching porn altogether is likely not an effective strategy and will ultimately just put more strain on the relationship. So in place of ultimatums, find ways to really connect as a couple and breathe new life into the relationship. Ask your partner to really hear and understand your feelings, and really listen and try to understand theirs.
While you might never see completely eye to eye on porn, there may be ways for you to meet somewhere in the middle. Richmond suggests considering options like watching porn together (mutual masturbation is a thing!) or even creating your own.
One of the most common areas of disagreement between men and women is sex. Almost always the man wants more, and the woman wants less (or sometimes isn't interested at all). And porn significantly impacts this difference in sex drive in ways most people don't even realize. As a result, the watching of porn by men leads many women to wonder, "Why does my boyfriend watch porn then want to have sex with me?"
Depending upon a person's age, health, and porn history (the more porn watched the longer arousal takes), arousal can become more and more difficult to achieve. Challenges with arousal can be one of the reasons why your boyfriend wants sex after watching porn.
My bf looks at porn all the time. He claims now that he just looks at the screenshots, only watching one or two videos occasionally, but it's everyday! Even after we have sex, he still goes and looks at it. I've told him over and over how this makes me feel and how much it hurts. Yes, occasionally we will watch one together, and I don't mind that. He wants to role play and try new things. Again, I don't mind that. However him watching porn makes me feel like all he wants is a porn star who will do nothing but suck his d*** all night (sorry for the language).
This is a subject most men want to avoid. But if your boyfriend is consistently watching porn and wanting sex with you it may be time to talk to a counselor. If he won't, then talk to one by yourself.